We Just Learned The Awesome Thing Trump Did When He Quietly Slipped Away From The Press

The fearless leader of America and king of the awkward handshake, President Donald Trump, has defied the “normal” customary procedure of concluding an overseas trip with a press conference. Trump did something much better. He closed his trip with a visit to soldiers and presented a nice little speech for them instead.

Considering this is Memorial Day weekend and we’re paying homage to the American troops who’ve made the ultimate sacrifice for their country, it was only right that Trump spent time with the troops. Some of them have lost great brethren and it’s a much better use of time to join those who fight for America instead of giving a lackadaisical speech to a bunch of media maggots at a presser.

“I think we hit a home run no matter where we are,” Trump said as he spoke to members of the military at a Naval Air Station in Sigonella, Italy, celebrating his first trip overseas as president. “I can think of no better way to conclude our first foreign trip than to spend the time with you right here.”

Trump can’t figure out how to comb his hair and his handshakes are really strange, but if there’s anything I like about him, then it’s this. He respects our military and he’s loyal to them.  Our soldiers aren’t used to that. They deserve the best treatment when they go overseas and when they return home.

Trump had suggested that his main goal of traveling overseas was to bring the world together in hopes to join forces and fight radical Islamic terrorism together. This is a terror unit who attacks random targets and I really don’t know why they do this. I believe they could use their time to build things up, not blow them up, and make the world a better place with the rest of us.

“We traveled the world to form a partnership among nations devoted to the tasks of eradicating terrorism that plagues our planet,” he said.

The president recalled the terrorist attacks in Manchester and Egypt that targeted innocent women and children as well as a suicide bombing in Indonesia that killed three police officers. He said that attacks would only steel the resolve of world leaders to fight terrorism.

How will Trump form partnerships with liberals like Angela Merkel? She has a haircut worse than Trump and practically fantasizes about Muslim refugees tossing her around like a Vegas escort at a bachelor party. I’m not sure we can partner with someone who, indirectly or directly, seems to actually support the very thing most others are fighting against. She and a few other liberal world leaders are all about the Muslim refugees who are so well known for horrible crimes like gang rape and violent attacks upon innocent citizens of the countries they invade. Refugee units act as a Trojan horse to allow radicalized terrorists to sneak into countries undetected.  Did they think people wouldn’t notice?

“Together, civilized nations will crush the terrorists, block their funding, strip them of their territory, and drive them out of this earth,” Trump said.

The president arrived on the base to a raucous crowd and shouts of “USA! USA! USA!” as the Air Force One movie soundtrack played in the background.

There are two ways to fight this. Blow them up and teach the youngsters how life outside of terrorism is much better, longer, and gives you access to at least 72 women. Most of those women won’t be the 72 virgins they are tricked into believing, but if they really want access to women, then it certainly isn’t by their current methods. They’ll have to drop the terrorist lifestyle and live life as a bachelor.

Trump recalled his commitment to a “peace through strength” foreign policy.

“That’s what we’re gonna have. We’re gonna have a lot of strength and a lot of peace,” he said.

Let me guess, Donald, it’s going to be YUGE, right? Well, I would hope so. But there’s just one thing about that. Trump could blow up every last terrorist he could find, but there’s always more in the making. There’s always someone else who hates life so much that they turn to the horrible life of blowing things up. There’s always evil in the world to balance out every positive thing there is. Our life, universe, and everything else works in a balance. For every nice thing on this planet, there’s an equal amount of evil.

The only way to defeat terrorism is to destroy the elders, teach the youth, and hope that providing a life better than running around in the sand with a homemade rocket launcher is enough to convince people to stop blowing things up for no reason.

We have to, for lack of better words, re-brainwash the terrorists and have them realize that life is better when you’re NOT a terrorist.

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