If you go to Walmart for Black Friday, then you’re doing one of two things.
- You’re just going to watch a crowd of idiots start a riot, trample someone, and get a good video for YouTube.
- You’re there to steal, murder, and cause a ruckus.
Either way, there’s no real sales going on. Many places mark their prices up a while in advance, then drop them back to “normal” prices, and people buy things thinking they got a deal.
No. You paid regular price or more for things. If you got a deal, it was probably on something that’s a piece of crap leftover from last year, so the store is just unloading unwanted merchandise on gullible customers. Smart people don’t shop on Black Friday.
I can’t believe people get into fist fights over merchandise that actually sucks. Walmart isn’t giving out deals on high-end 4K televisions with curved screens. If anything, they’re giving a slight deal on big screen TV that people with jobs didn’t buy last year.
Black Friday is the day when the people living in section 8 welfare homes get their 65 inch television to put in their little one bedroom apartment. They have to throw away their stolen couch because the TV takes up the entire room and it’s like sitting in the front row of an IMAX movie.
They ain’t got no job, no car, no nothing – but they sure got that big ‘ol TV to look fancy. About as fancy as the 1983 sedan with two different color doors and shiny rims that cost $2500 more than the car itself.
While the store tricks shoppers into buying garbage at reduced or actual prices, there’s always that gang of idiots stomping around, fighting rabid shoppers, and not caring about the old dead person they just trampled.
Old people need to stay home on Black Friday, because I don’t think their LIFE ALERT works when it gets trampled by a woman who’s probably pushing 350 and 80 of her little
shopping thievery friends.
Thankfully shoppers have smart phones and walk around with their head bent down, because they can’t miss a Facebook update or a new Tweet. Thankfully those people are sometimes smart enough to look up and record all the morons around them.
Without making you wait any longer, here’s this years’ Black Fridays Matter video. I don’t know what the exact body count is so far, but there’s always a few body bags passed out in the shopping carts of unsuspecting shoppers.
Massive fight in a California mall.
One shot over Black Friday parking spot dispute.
Another shooting in Tennessee during Black Friday shopping.
And another shooting in a New Jersey shopping area during Black Friday shopping.
Black Fridays Matter.
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