A brief history of Donald Trump’s LONG list of business failures

donald_trump_making_stupid_face_ap_img1

So Donald Trump somehow scored his first political win in the New Hampshire primary Tuesday night.

Sounds like a good time to remind America his many losses.

The blustering businessman is famously obsessed with winning everything, always. His colorful career, though, shows that his track record ain’t quite so successful.

Sure, he’s built buildings and brought in billions for himself doing so. But that second-place finish in the Iowa caucus last week was hardly the first epic fail with Trump’s name written all over it (often literally).

The man who says he’s going to build a border wall, crush ISIS and boost “the brand of the United States” has a nasty habit of hyping ventures that last less than half the time of one presidential term. Think hard, America: Do you want a man in the White House who couldn’t even create a successful board game?

Let’s take a quick look at some of The Donald’s bungled promises. Here’s to many more Trump failures to come!

Trump University

MAY 23, 2005 FILE PHOTO BEBETO MATTHEWS/AP

The so-called “Trump University” led to two ongoing lawsuits.

This for-profit school ended about as well as you’d expect for anything called “Trump University.” The campus-less institute opened in 2005 and allegedly swindled some students for up to $35,000 with grand promises of top-notch business lessons.

“As soon as I attended the first workshop, I knew I had been scammed,” one student, Robert Guillo, told the Daily News last year.

Four students sued the school in 2010, leading Trump to change its name to the “Trump Entrepreneur Initiative” before closing it down altogether. The New York Attorney General sued Trump and the shuttered school for $40 million for alleged fraud.

The lawsuits against Trump University may soon be heading to trial, and have somehow barely been mentioned on the campaign trail.

Trump Mortgage

“I think it’s a great time to start a mortgage company,” Trump told CNBC in 2006 about his new mortgage company, adding, “Who knows about financing better than I do?”

Wrong and wrong.

HOW FALSE PROPHETS TRUMP AND SANDERS ROSE

The real estate mogul failed to make any splash with the company, as the housing market collapse neared. He also chose to run the company with E.J. Ridings, an acquaintance who claimed to have extensive Wall Street experience after only working there for three months.

The company lasted less than two years.

Trump magazine

2007 wasn’t a wise time to start launching print magazines. But Trump apparently didn’t get the memo, and trumpeted his new rag as a magazine that would be “tapping into a rich cultural tapestry.”

Turns out the tapestry wasn’t so rich — it folded in 2009.

If around today, there’d be at least one publication willing to endorse Trump for President.

Trump Airlines

20455 David A. Cantor/ASSOCIATED PRESS

Trump Airlines: A luxury business that went nowhere.

Trump dumped $365 million to buy the tiny Eastern Air Shuttle in 1989 and decked out its Boeing’s with gold-colored bathrooms and a maple wood veneer. But no one wanted to travel in Trump’s style.

The airline never made a profit and The Donald had to default on his loans to square the debt. The company flew away for good in 1992.

GoTrump

Touted at the time as Trump’s “biggest venture to date,” he helped launch this travel site in 2006, which gave vacation recommendations based on Trump’s own favorite spots.

“I love to travel and I invite everyone to experience GoTrump.com,” he said in a press release.

Few took the invite. GoTrump went away after only a year.

Trump: The Game

For latest restrictions check www.corbisimages.com Renée C. Byer/© Renée C. Byer/ZUMA Press/Cor

No dice: Two Donald Trump board games, one released in 1989 and the other in 2005, both vanished from shelves in no time.

Nope, this isn’t referring to his presidential run.

Trump tried invading American homes in 1989 with a Monopoly-esque Milton Bradley board game in his name. But the board game business itself is something Trump couldn’t win.

The game disappeared from shelves after a year. Some copies are still floating around eBay for about $20.

The Apprentice board game

Winners don’t just lose — they play again!

Not content to let his board game stakes slip, Trump roared back on the scene with a Hasbro game based on his TV show. It was essentially similar to his first game, especially when it came to sales — this one, too, was swiftly discontinued.

It’s now on eBay for as low as $6.

Trump Steaks

 

Donald Trump selling steaks exclusively through Sharper Image. Debuting them in a TV ad where he claims he just “raised the stakes” on steaks. This was primed to be a delicious failure from the very start.

He claimed his steaks were the “world’s greatest,” and accordingly priced them for at least $199 a pack.

But the meat slabs slowly disappeared from shelves nationwide, and the Trump Steakhouse in Las Vegas even got shut down for a bit following more than 50 health code violations. Disgusted reviews are still on QVC to give everyone a taste of what they missed.

“They pop fat all over the counter while on the grill.”

A bloated, explosive mess. How fitting.

 

Trump Steaks: One of many delicious failures in his name. Sipkin, Corey/New York Daily News

Trump Steaks: One of many delicious failures in his name.

Trump Ice and Trump Vodka

Trump tried turning the branded bottled water sold at his casino into a home product throughout the mid-2000s. It fizzled, and assorted bottles are now eBay, but some made their way to Marco Rubio as an insult.

Trump Vodka also drowned around the same time, disproving its tagline, “Success Distilled.”

Anyone noticing a product pattern here?

Trump Entertainment Resorts

SEPT. 30, 2011 PHOTO Wayne Parry/AP

The Trump Taj Mahal Casino Resort in Atlantic City, still struggling to survive.

Trump’s most successful stab at any gaming industry — by which we mean, it hasn’t failed completely.

But with Trump resigning from the casino group in 2009, after one of its bankruptcy filing, these Atlantic City casinos are clearly another losing hand for him. The company is still clinging on even after its fourth bankruptcy filing two years ago.

Trump even failed to win against an 80-year-old Atlantic City woman, whose house he tried to destroy to make way for a limosuine parking lot. She beat him in court.

Trump Tower Chicago

03121312890, 21334631, Barry Brecheisen/Barry Brecheisen/Invision/AP

More like: “YUCK.” As seen in downtown Chicago.

The Second City is hardly the only place afflicted with a Trump skyscraper. But it certainly has one of the most annoying buildings bearing his name.

In 2014, Trump put “TRUMP” on the building’s side — destroying one of the most scenic views of Chicago’s Riverwalk. It moved Mayor Rahm Emanuel to propose a new law banning any building sign so yuuuge.

Who says Trump can’t get things done in government?

Via NY DAILY NEWS

“For God and Country—Geronimo, Geronimo, Geronimo……..Geronimo E.K.I.A.” -U.S. Navy SEAL VI