I’m starting to feel sorry for Colin Kaepernick. He’s oppressed by evil white men in so many ways.
I mean, he makes $19 million a year playing for a professional sports team. He drives amazing cars. Is surrounded by hot women 24/7.
I don’t know how anyone could handle all that oppression at the same time.
Now, just when we thought Kaepernick was oppressed beyond measure, the Independent Journal Review has revealed just how oppressed Kaepernick really is.
How could it get any worse for the misunderstood, millionaire quarterback b-tch, you ask?
Well, Colin Kaepernick… lives in a badass mansion.
I know. The horror, right?
I’m surprised KaeperDick hasn’t committed suicide yet. I mean, no mortal could stand the level of oppression he has living in the evil United States, am I right?
Now, before we give Kap any good ideas about offing himself, let’s take a look at the oppressive mansion he lives in courtesy of evil white people.
“According to the celebrity home site, virtualglobetrotting.com, Kaepernick lives in a wealthy, gated San Jose community in a mansion fit for a king.
According to the real estate site Zillow, that mansion was purchased in 2014 for $2.7 million, one year after Kaepernick played in the Super Bowl and signed his new contract with the 49ers.”
Here’s an aerial view of Kaepernick’s oppressive home.
The driveway looks very oppressing. I’m not sure how Kap makes it to his front door.
An oppressive three-car garage. Praying for you, Kaepernick (Not really).
The backyard is like an oppressive field of horrors.
What an oppressing view he has!
Probably the most oppressing of all, a pool, with a hot tub IN IT. My God.
The kitchen is oppressively small!
An oppressive crystal chandelier. I don’t think I can take much more.
When Colin feels overly oppressed, he surely finds solace at his FULL bar.
After long days of being oppressed in America, all Colin has to rest his weary oppressed body in is this oppressive bedroom.
We’re sorry we’ve oppressed you so much that you can’t even stand for the national anthem, Kaepernick.