GIRLS NEED LOWER STANDARDS: ‘Thunder Thighs’ Pouch Barbie Comes With High Cholesterol and McD’s Fries…

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From BizPac: Gone are the days where changing a stick-figured doll in and out of numerous fabulous outfits was a breeze. Now, Barbie’s going to have to squeeeeeze into her jeans just like the rest of us.

Toy maker Mattel has been undergoing a super-secret operation to redefine Barbie. The endeavor titled “Project Dawn” is being touted as one of the biggest changes in Barbie’s 57-year history.

In an effort to boost slacking sales, new and improved versions of Barbie will become more realistic.

Tall, petite, and curvy dolls were added in an attempt to appeal to a new generation after the toy maker already integrated a variety of hair textures and skin tones. The most eye-opening change is anticipated to be curvy Barbie’s new stomach “pouch” and voluptuous thighs and rear.

Despite excitement surrounding the new product, Mattel is bracing for the inevitable backlash.

Taken from TIME magazine (emphasis added):

Adding three new body types now is sure to irritate someone: just picking out the terms petite, tall and curvy, and translating them into dozens of languages without causing offense, took months. And like me, girls will strip curvy Barbie and try to put original Barbie’s clothes on her or swap the skirts of petite and tall. Not everything will Velcro shut. Fits will be thrown, exasperated moms will call Mattel. The company is setting up a separate help line just to deal with Project Dawn complaints.

Barbie’s recent drop in popularity is partly attributed to Lego’s new girls line, and Disney’s mega-hit princess “Elsa” taking center stage. But don’t count Barbie out just yet. She’s withstood the test of time despite being the target of endless controversy.

The following video shows Barbie’s evolution and endless struggles.

It’s hard to be all things to all people in a hypersensitive, self-indulgent, P.C. world, but Barbie’s going to keep on trying.

 

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