The chubby little gerbil also known as Kim Jong un has been pitching a massive fit over the past week in defiance of President Trump’s airstrike on Syria. Threatening full-out nuclear war, deploying his army of 140,000 troops to the border, and showcasing his weaponry has just been part of his antics, as he continues to assert that there will be “catastrophic consequences” for the United States after we parked our huge ass aircraft carrier in his back yard. But unfortunately for Kim Jong un, his mission to prove to the world that he has a set of balls has just backfired in a huge way after what one of his photographers caught on camera. Now little Kim’s secret is out, and the full wrath of the chubby dictator has been unleashed upon those he commands.
On Monday, the world watched as North Korea showcased their military strength by unveiling their special forces, the Korean People’s Army (KPA), for the first time during a military parade, while showing off their new medium-to-long range missiles. While the display was meant to strike fear into the hearts of Americans, there was something else the communist dictator unfortunately unveiled after what several American military experts immediately noticed about his military that will no doubt come as a huge embarrassment for the short and round dictator. Conservative Tribune reported:
For starters, much of the equipment the “highly trained” soldiers was toting were outdated designs left over from the Soviet era, such as the dual-lens night-vision goggles that destroy depth perception or the North Korean-produced AK-74 knockoff rifles that have terrible ballistics and are inferior to just about anything U.S. troops are using.
On top of that, or should I say mounted underneath the rifles (tied on with paracord no less), are special tubular magazines produced by the North Koreans known as helical magazines, according to Ares Armament Research Services, which have been misidentified by many outlets as being grenade launchers.
The high-capacity magazines, originally produced solely for Kim’s personal contingent of bodyguards, are all but worthless in a real fight as they are extremely difficult to reload — particularly under the stress of combat — and are notorious for jamming repeatedly.
The next humiliating detail is the fact that the special operations soldiers appear to be equipped with chest-mounted holstered sidearms that appear to be more than 60 years old, most likely CZ 75 semi-automatic pistols produced in then-Soviet-dominated Czechoslovakia.
Those holstered pistols were attached to tactical vests in a copycat variation of the U.S. Army’s light-green digital-style camouflage, which don’t match the woodland camo-style uniforms the troops were wearing, which also didn’t match the apparently hastily spray-painted helmets, nor the hilariously misapplied Party City-style black and green face paint worn by the soldiers.
Add in some cheap knock-off Ray-Ban-type sunglasses — which will keep little more than sun out of their eyes and will utterly fail under the slightest ballistics test — to complete the would-be special operator look, and, voila, North Korea can proudly claim it is ready to oppose a decapitating strike against their leadership by the real special operators of the U.S. military, which has been steadily training for just such an opportunity and is truly equipped for such a task.
All told, for roughly $1,600, pretty much anybody can acquire virtually all of the same or similar equipment worn by these goose-stepping North Korean troops. In fact, it is a fairly safe bet that there are plenty of fat, lazy, out-of-shape American mall ninjas better equipped to actually engage in battle than those who were on display in the North Korean military parade.
What’s also hilarious to note is that as Kim’s high-stepping pansies tried to look like badasses to the photographer, often times they could be seen pointing rifles at their heads at the men standing next to them, proving that these aren’t quite the “highly trained” caliber of soldiers that the dictator would have everyone believe.
As Kim Jon Un is desperately trying to make his balls appear large on the world stage and intimidate President Trump, he only humiliated himself and his military by trying to pass off his fat, lazy troops as highly trained special ops warriors. I’m pretty sure Amazon and eBay offer more intimidating military uniforms and equipment in their toddler Halloween section than the bozo army of Kim Jong Un. Perhaps this idiot should stop shoving his face full of twinkies and focus on military tactics if he’s going to ever prove to the world that he’s a badass.
H/T [Conservative Tribune]