Ben & Jerry’s is elbow in a cow’s rectum with their latest problem caused by their overindulgence in gourmet tolerance. They hired tons of Latino employees, many of which turned out to be illegal and possibly from shady sanctuary cities, and now those same workers are giving them an ultimatum present they won’t ever forget.
If you can grasp this for one second, before laughing out loud or saying “you’ve got to be f*cking kidding me” at least three times in a row, then here’s the scoop – illegal immigrant employees hired illegally are protesting for better conditions at their illegal job in their illegal country.
Ben & Jerry’s uses a lot of fair trade ingredients in their products, but the milk is from Vermont and we’re having a little bit of trouble up there thanks to lazy Americans who are too stupid or lazy to milk cows the right way. Ben & Jerry’s had to hire some illegal immigrants who work harder and here we are in the middle of the most deport-able protest you’ll ever find. Illegal immigrants protesting because those slobs in Vermont won’t milk the darn cows every 12 hours like they’re supposed to. One call to ICE and Ben & Jerry’s could have their entire factory vacated in five minutes. Either the immigrants run like they’re in a track meet or they get scooped up by the agents and hauled off to their homeland.
Either way, I blame my fellow Americans for screwing up the double tug job to get some milk for us. If Americans in Vermont could do the job right, then Ben & Jerry’s wouldn’t be in this predicament. You know how the saying goes, right? If an illegal immigrant steals your job, then you weren’t good at it anyway.
This weekend, migrant dairy farm workers marched on Ben & Jerry’s Vermont factory demanding better pay and living conditions. “We can’t wait anymore. We are going to pressure them and see what happens,” says Victor Diaz, one of the farm workers. The June 17th March for Milk with Dignity marks two years since Ben & Jerry’s first committed to join the program that was started by activist group “Migrant Justice” three years ago.
Better working conditions? You’re in America. That’s already better working conditions than where you’re from. What better conditions could there be for milking cows? If the employees clean up after themselves, then what else is there to do? They’re tugging udders and spilling milk into containers. Wipe up when you’re done and call it a day.
I’m all for employees being treated well and think everyone in our country deserves optimal work environments. Although, if I was an illegal immigrant, then I’d be a little bit nervous to be running my mouth at a protest. One wrong move and it’s a one way ticket to wherever they came from.
Ben & Jerry’s showed interest in the deal since 2015 but has not been able to agree on specifics. Part of the problem is that the group wants a legally binding agreement but have not clearly spelled out what they actually mean. They want a “Farm-worker authored Code of Conduct” based on their definition of “the human right to work with dignity and fair housing” without explaining what that means. They are also asking for education about their rights under the program, a third party to monitor and enforce the agreement, and unspecified “economic relief.”
The company must be earning millions each year. I’ve seen the women in my neighborhood and I can tell they put down a half gallon of Cherry Garcia at least three times per week. There are a LOT of fat people in America who love ice cream, so Ben & Jerry’s should man up, give the workers a break, and double their productivity. Maybe by 2030 we can all look like Rosie O’Donnell.
For many years, Ben & Jerry’s has been on the forefront of social activism, preferring to use “fair trade” ingredients when possible. The bananas, cocoa, vanilla, sugar, and coffee used in their flavors all come from “Fair trade program” certified suppliers but the main ingredient, milk, does not. 85 percent of the milk used by Ben & Jerry’s comes from local Vermont farms. The company already gives the farmers cash as a reward for better practices but workers say the money has not been improving their conditions.
Ben & Jerry’s knows what happens next right? If they shaft their workers, then the milk gets a booger in it and ruins an entire production line of ice cream and costs them money.
I don’t care if they hire illegal immigrants. You know why? If we Americans can’t do it right, then that’s OUR fault. We need to work harder to get our jobs back.
Not to mention….one phone call to ICE might result in their entire place being evacuated.
You want to make some job openings in Vermont, then call ICE and see what happens!
If not, then take care of the employees and keep the ice cream coming.
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