Donald Trump called Judge Jeanine Pirro and informed her of his dedication and excitement to begin the transition from Obama to Trump and his focus on making America great.
Watch the video, then we’ll discuss where that begins from my point of view.
Thanks for your opening statement, Judge Jeanine, but I’ll take it from here.
Here’s my list of ways that Donald Trump can make America greater. I think we’re already great, but we can be bigger, badder, and stronger!
Here’s what I think Trump needs to do.
- If you were born with a penis, then you use the men’s bathroom. I don’t care if you’re wearing a dress and heels, get your little gonads in the correct bathroom and stop creeping out the women or taking pics over the stall door in Target.
- Anyone calling for other people to be more politically correct should be fined. If you’re caught crying over some words and you’re unable to use words back to defend yourself, then you’re fined and forced to take a “be better at words” class. No more sensitivity training, how about some insensitive training! Liberals are weak. They need to toughen up.
Liberalism listed as a mental insufficiency.
- There’s no way an intelligent person throws their own body in traffic simply to protest. Liberalism must be a mental disease, because I cannot fathom any idea why anyone would sacrifice their soul to the weakest, often most violent, group of dopes I’ve ever seen in my life. Grow up!
Cops arrest protesters if the reason they’re protesting is deemed ridiculous, or they block traffic. Do NOT block traffic.
- crying about an election, when your candidate lost fairly.
- protesting for $15 an hour instead of getting a better job.
- groaning because the one transgender person in your state can’t pee without getting looked at funny. C’mon, if you’re a dude caught in a dress, then what do you think will happen? People look and laugh…that’s just how it is.
- protesting because a black cop shot a black criminal who had a gun, or any other cop related reason where the cop shoots a crook. Time to protect the people who protect us. Anyone defending criminals is an irresponsible person.
Affirmative Action and equal opportunity in the work place is immediately gone.
- I don’t want to be turned down for a job because I don’t meet the required racial profile.
- I don’t want jobs to hire people just because they are black, Asian, Caucasian, or red headed step children. I want jobs to hire people because they are the best candidate for the job. Quality over color. Who cares what color you are? I don’t. I want the best, nothing less.
- No more giving minorities or women an easier test to take for certain jobs, such as police/fire/etc. If you can’t lift the required weight to be a fireman, then you don’t get the job. Sorry ladies. And all people of every color take the same test. If you can’t pass the test, then you don’t get the job. Your color means nothing. Your ability to complete the job better than every other candidate is important, not your percentage of melanin or what sex you are.
Censorship is over.
- It’s 2016 and we censor words like “ass” in a song, even if the entire rest of the song talks about putting things in said “ass” – does this make ANY sense? Walk into a recess yard at school and you’ll hear the kids singing about the worst things possible, without any swear words, because they listen to the radio edits. Let’s face it, words are just words, and if I want to hear Eminem yell about retards, gays, and strangling someone – then that’s what I want to hear! Censoring a “swear” word, when the rest of the content is worse, is purely stupid.
Feminism is another mental disease.
- When you’re an angry woman who hates her life, wake up and shave your head, and your entire life rages around your hatred and anger for everything that’s male, then you’re a sicko. You’re literally a bag of cunts and no one likes you except that other bag of cunts down the road who has an even worse fake-Skrillex haircut. You’re likely overweight and can’t even pick up an ugly lesbian. You have a mental condition.
Illegal criminal immigrants OUT.
- I don’t care about illegal immigrants who live in America, go to work, do right by their kids, and raise a productive family in society. Whooooo cares!? Not me. Those people are much better than the welfare queens who bear eight kids, take care of NONE, and suck up the working man tax payers money.
- Sanctuary city status is out too. Any sick pig mayor who lets his city remain a sanctuary city, harboring criminals, is a piece of sh*t. Chicago and Philly are the first that come to mind. Two filthy cities infested with violent criminals. Mostly Chicago, as Philly isn’t as bad, but it could be in the future if the sanctuary status remains.
Guns are IN
- Law abiding gun owners aren’t the problem. If they were, you’d sure know it! Criminals won’t follow the law, so what’s the point of bothering legal gun owners? There is none. You could make a law that any criminal who uses a gun in a crime would get their penis chopped off and forced to eat it raw – people would still commit crimes. There is NOTHING you can say to a criminal to prevent them from committing their crime. That’s why they are criminals. Doesn’t take a genius to figure out the simple.
Refugees are OUT
- Let’s take the Skittles analogy. If I have 100 Skittles, and ten of them are poisoned, would you still risk eating a handful? No. Because you don’t want to be poisoned. So when the refugees show up in droves and most of them are OK, but there’s a handful of terrorists – then no thanks. Better to keep them all out. America had it’s own civil war, so other places on the map can do the same thing. Go raise hell in your own country.
Drugs are legal, regulated, and taxed.
- If you want to overdose on heroin because you’re an addicted junky, then go ahead. No matter what we tell you, you’re going to do it anyway. At least we can tax your purchase and put it towards education or some other public cause.
- The war on drugs won’t ever be won. It’s too easy for drug dealers to smuggle things into this country and sell them, get rich, and live an easy life. If the government regulates the drug trade (they might already) and manages the production of it, then we create jobs and ensure that drugs are more pure. Sounds crazy, but it’s better than some kid getting a hold of a joint laced with embalming fluid.
- Maybe if the drugs were legal and really expensive, then it might slow down. Or, people would resort back to buying illegal drugs, which they do anyway. People smuggle drugs INTO prison, so do we really think the war on drugs can be won? They’re already in jail and still do it, and it only costs the taxpayers money. Why don’t we reverse that and make the drug addicts pay for us? And while we’re at it, slip in something extra that sterilizes these people so they don’t reproduce.
- Anyone caught addicted to anything serves a mandatory six months in rehab.
- Of course, that all sounds absolutely batsh*t crazy, I know!
The American Flag
- Anyone caught burning or stomping on the American flag is arrested and punched in the face 25 times by a fist covered in dog sh*t.
- Second offense, you have to eat it.
- Third, you’re in stocks for a week and people can throw whatever they want at you. You WILL respect this country or you’ll get your teeth pushed in.
That’s just the beginning of my most likely unrealistic, but super awesome ways to make America greater.
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