WTF? Amy Schumer Backs Out, Now Says Talk of Moving was a Joke?!

amyschumerjokeleaving

Comedian Amy Schumer faces the reality of a Donald Trump victory and stumbles over her previous words as she backs out of her previous notion that she would leave America if Hillary lost to Trump.

The American people have spoken! The same people who probably bought her movie and show tickets also voted for a shake-up in American politics. It’s not even that people particularly liked Donald Trump, but the people want the corrupt government to get a good shaking.

Amy Schumer and a few other celebrities have expressed their intent on leaving America if Trump wins. Here we are. Pack your bags. Sell your home and buy a one way plane ticket to “no-one-gives-a-f*ck-istan” and make good on your words.

Or stay. I’m cool with Amy Schumer staying in America because it provides us with another crybaby to giggle at. I feel bad laughing at adults in a mean way, but sometimes they do things that are so beyond stupid that you find yourself shaking your head and asking yourself what they were thinking.

Amy is possibly the most tolerable of the group of people who said they would leave. Many of the rest, like Cher, have been out of the spotlight and seek attention. Miley Cyrus simply does anything to get people to look at her, especially her idiotic fake crying scene where she couldn’t contain herself in one of the worst videos I’ve ever seen.

It’s OK, Amy – you can stay. You can keep complaining. You can keep lobbying about guns and we will keep pointing out that it’s not the tool, but the person behind it, who commits the crime. We will cover you and remind you about how you look and sound like an idiot. Normally you get paid to be funny, but you’re at your best when you’re on a stage making ZERO points.

Train Wreck was a decent movie and John Cena was pretty creepy in it, and I even paid for my tickets to watch it. I put money in your pocket. If you’re staying in America and providing us something to write about, then maybe you might indirectly put money in my pocket too. Probably enough to buy a diet Doctor Pepper and a cheeseburger, but it’s better than nothing.

Now that I think of it, I’d really like Amy to stay. So please stay in America, give us something to poke fun at, and entertain us with your gathering of millennial idiot crybaby snowflake fans.

We get it. It was a joke. We know how comedy works. I didn’t expect you to leave, but I expect some of the others to already have a condo rented in a third world country since they think America is so bad.

If Amy Schumer wants to impress me, then she’ll do the ultimate joke. An epic trolling of proportions that may not ever be matched.

Get on the plane and go. Leave for a while. Convince some of those other snowflakes to pack up and head out with you. Trick the other celebrities into leaving. Upon completion of your mission, you may return and you’ll be pretty awesome if you accomplish something like convincing 20 liberal moron celebrities to leave the country for us. Your fans in other places may not agree, but this is America and we’re great again, so it’s all good. We were always great, just hit a few snowflake protesters on the way.

At least help us out and get the Kardashians out of America. Maybe board a plane with them, trick them into buying one way tickets, have them sell their home?

If Amy does this, then I think she earns a pass into our hearts. She would be like an internal operative spy crushing the leftists liberal celebrities from the inside. I would give her crazy amounts of respect if she lured these hack celebs out of America and left them stranded somewhere they don’t even like.

I would watch her next movie twice if she pulled this off. I’d be at the theatre dressed as Caitlyn Jenner in an Amy Schumer t-shirt, stuffing my face with buttery popcorn and laughing at her jokes like it’s the best thing on Earth since deer jerky.

Anything to get that talentless hack family out of this country while taking a few other she-hags like Miley, Cher, and Madonna. Madonna’s mouth should be full right now, if you catch my drift.

 

Louder with Crowder – “First of all the interview where I said I would move was in London and was said in jest. Not that anyone needs more than a headline to count something as official news,” she wrote on Instagram.

The star added in her lengthy post that she was grieving. “I am furious. I cry for her and for all the smart people I love…”

Owner of Trending Views.com and writer for FreedomDaily. I enjoy controversial news, ranting, and dismantling safe spaces of liberal trigglypuffs. Follow me on Twitter, Facebook, and here.